Global Warming ( and how I’ve solved it)

Having landed a job a as a school secretary/registrar I am around children all day.  This allows me ample opportunity to experience all the blissful moments of motherhood without having to take them home at the end of the day.  Well…I take that back.  I was there two days and I caught a nasty cold, but that ’s a different story.  My office is constantly overrun with students that have forgotten their lunch, need to call home for various  emergencies  like, 1.Can they spend the night with Jenny? 2. Can mommy bring their lunch? 3. Can mommy bring them their back pack , etc.  There are also students turning in permission slips for field trips, slips excusing absences,  and students picking up papers for their teachers.  However, before the students leave my office 85% of them invariably will leave something behind for me.

Swinging

I always thought I was more or less normal.  That is, until I turned 38.  By normal I mean I never stalked a celebrity, never plucked my eyelashes out and never set a cat on fire.  However when I turned 38 I developed an overwhelming desire to tell everyone that they were doing it wrong.  I told my husband he was doing IT wrong, if you know what I mean.  I told my children they were doing everything wrong.  And it didn’t stop there. I was compelled to tell my teachers, my children’s teachers, my friends, my minister, cashiers, waiters, store clerks, eh, I think you begin to see my point.