Working as a temporary is as close to being a non person as one can get. There are so many facets of being a temp in an office setting it boggles ones mind. From the beginning when you register as a “temp” with an agency you are given tests to ensure you won’t pick up a box weighing over 50 pounds or show up to work under the influence of illegal substances, divulge company secrets, engage in unprotected sex to the more mundane typing and filing tests. There is also the point where you realize you are being interviewed by someone that is younger than your VCR and has had way too much coffee for your 15 minute interview that your drove an hour to prepare for. But then the day arrives, when Cindee from ABC staffing calls with an “Assignment!!!” and you go like a starving man to a feast.
From the moment you check in with the receptionist, if you are lucky to find one, you are immediately identified as “the temp”. “The temp is here”, the receptionist annouces and from then on, you are “the temp”. You can introduce yourself a million times, but you will always be “the temp”. You are required to know everyone’s name, but they are not required to know yours. You need to know all the extensions, who can be disturbed, and who must never be disturbed.
When taking food orders, a temp is expected to know who eats onions and who doesn’t, who is allergic to wheat, who drinks caffeine and so on. It is also helpful to know what overnight services the company uses and which ones they don’t. When payroll must be submitted and by all means the CEO’s name and his wife’s!
On some of my more interesting assignments, I was placed at a physical therapy rehabilitation unit as a secretary. The place was so loosely run that when they were short of therapists, they would set clients on the equipment then get them started and then ask me to look out the window of the office every so often to make sure no one had fallen off! This was the same office that showed me how to back date the fax machine so they could send over requests to Medicare to get them approved. Needless to say, I got out of there pretty quick.
Temp agencies have no idea what they are sending people to do. They just want bodies in place so they can bill the client for the job. My last job was a hoot. I should have walked out the first day, but as my title suggests , I will work for food. When I walked back into the kitchen and found a dead mouse in a trap, that should have screamed to me “you’re next!!” However I endured another week of demeaning work, more mice everywhere, low pay and a threatening environment before I called Cindee to let her that this assignment was just not working out.
Cindee is working on finding me another assignment while I continue to interview with agencies and direct placement firms. Many want me to be available at all hours, “would that be a problem?” “Uh, yes, I have a life, don’t you?” “I see you want more than a pittance and that’s all we are willing to pay, is that a problem? “Yes, sir, Please sir, could I have more? “More? More? Your want more?????????”
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