No Regrets

    I realize that in my zeal to be prepared for every disease/disaster known to man, I have become a germaphobe. I have been accused (rightly so) of carrying everything but the proverbial kitchen sink in my purse just in case. You never know when you might need a band-aid, tweezers, a wet-wipe, floss, toothpaste, a sewing kit, and so on.  I have always been the one to have wet wipes to clean my hands after pumping gas to get the gas smell off my hands and of course who knows what else????

The path from my front door to the kitchen sink is well worn because it has been  non stop; as that is the first thing I do when I get home is to WASH MY HANDS!!!  I realize that a certain amount of hygiene is necessary and I admit it freaks me out like Seinfeld if I see waitstaff  come out   of a stall and  not wash their hands in the ladies room!  But I am calling a truce on myself. Continue reading ‘Let’s Get Dirty’

Having landed a job a as a school secretary/registrar I am around children all day.  This allows me ample opportunity to experience all the blissful moments of motherhood without having to take them home at the end of the day.  Well…I take that back.  I was there two days and I caught a nasty cold, but that ’s a different story.  My office is constantly overrun with students that have forgotten their lunch, need to call home for various  emergencies  like, 1.Can they spend the night with Jenny? 2. Can mommy bring their lunch? 3. Can mommy bring them their back pack , etc.  There are also students turning in permission slips for field trips, slips excusing absences,  and students picking up papers for their teachers.  However, before the students leave my office 85% of them invariably will leave something behind for me. Continue reading ‘Global Warming ( and how I’ve solved it)’

I always thought I was more or less normal.  That is, until I turned 38.  By normal I mean I never stalked a celebrity, never plucked my eyelashes out and never set a cat on fire.  However when I turned 38 I developed an overwhelming desire to tell everyone that they were doing it wrong.  I told my husband he was doing IT wrong, if you know what I mean.  I told my children they were doing everything wrong.  And it didn’t stop there. I was compelled to tell my teachers, my children’s teachers, my friends, my minister, cashiers, waiters, store clerks, eh, I think you begin to see my point. 

Continue reading ‘Swinging’

In my quest to find work that will supplement my husband’s income I think I have found the perfect job.  As I peruse the want ads each day over my steaming cup of Lipton, the ad leaped out of the monitor at me and said “Here I am, this is what you have been waiting for!” Not far from me, tucked into the Hill Country apparently has emerged a Vodka distillery;  not much unlike all the meth labs we have around here.  Meth labs are very popular  around here because they are easy to hide in the backwoods of the hill country and because of the noxious odors  methamphetamine produces.  Of course, there is the down side of  a meth lab and that is the fact that 1,  it is highly illegal , 2.  you might get shot by a. the police  or b. your competition.

Not so, with alcohol.  Alcohol since the repeal of prohibition has been taxed, and although through the ages been approved or disapproved by society, has been tolerated. It has been glamorized through the media and slick ads in magazines promote the product.  Who hasn’t heard ” Would you like to come up for a drink?”  ,”Let’s go out for a drink”, “Come over to our place for drinks” They aren’t talking about a glass of water folks!   Now some enterprising individuals have decided to move a Texas Vodka distillery into the Hill Country and are advertising for bottlers for $10.00 +.  Continue reading ‘Will Work for Food (Part 2)’

Working as a temporary is as close to being a non person as one can get.  There are so many facets of being a temp in an office setting it boggles ones mind.  From the beginning when you register as a “temp” with an agency you  are given tests to ensure you won’t pick up a box weighing over 50 pounds or show up to work under the influence of illegal substances, divulge company secrets, engage in unprotected sex to the more mundane  typing and filing tests.   There is  also the point where you realize you are being interviewed by someone that is younger than your VCR and has had  way too much coffee for your 15 minute interview that your drove an hour to prepare for.  But then the day arrives, when Cindee from ABC staffing calls with an “Assignment!!!” and you go like a starving man to a feast.  Continue reading ‘Will Work for Food- My life as a Temp’